Lessons from Very Small Towns

Yesterday we loaded our van with gas, a family (ours) and a few snacks and headed North...or was it South? It didn't really matter where...we were looking for small towns in Saskatchewan, which are everywhere, just stay on any given road for a few minutes and poof, there is a small town. Just like magic shows when I was a kid, only a little longer. We toured at least 7 towns, all of which held something fun or interesting. Here are a few things we enjoyed finding...
1. A brick plant that used to be in operation. Now it has tours etc., but not when we were there. Good thing there were no tours when we came by because we likely would have stopped and enjoyed the tour and missed out on many other great activities which we enjoyed on that trip.
2. Some very old houses that were abandoned and falling over. Strange how interesting it is to see a leaning building.
3. Cows. No flying cows on this trip. We often see flying cows, but no one mentioned them, so I am guessing no one saw any. However, my wife did see a version of my Mexican cow. The "Mexican cow" (named by me) is a special kind of cow I have seen on several family trips in Saskatchewan but no one else in my family has seen. It was nice to finally be vindicated and have someone else see the Mexican Cow and verify it really does exist here.
4. A nicely kept church in a very small town that brought up a few questions. Who looks after it? Does anyone ever attend? If so, who? Mexican Cows? Not likely.
5. An old dilapidated church in a very small town that brought up a few questions. Why did it get so neglected? Does anyone own it? Was there ever any life/joy/power of God there? I tried to imagine a vibrant church in that building but had a hard time. My imagination took me instead to sad church politics, traditions and legalism, kids tortured by long sermons on hot summer days... am I too negative? I don't know enough about church history in small town Saskatchewan to know.
6. Some barking dogs that seemed to almost get run over as we drove into some house yard areas.
7. Corner Gas movie set.
8. A playground that our kids had a blast at. Definitely their favorite part of the trip. Gave me a chance to read about Toyota (the company) and about Psalms (I always bring books on a trip, never know when there will be a good chance to read). We ate lunch at the playground with food bought at a local grocery store.
9. A football field painted on main street in support of the Riders. Only in Saskatchewan!
10. A lot of bugs. Wow, there were really a lot of bugs. Also, some cool fields and crops (our youngest son decided that every field that had any yellow at all in it (even if it was weeds) was a Canola crop. Maybe. He calls them "Canoly Crops", which definitely has a better ring to it.
11. A lot of photo opp's. My wife really likes taking pictures. I really like to learn to be an awesome, participating, loving husband and father. I tried really hard. I stayed in the van for most of them but I did happily stop whenever there were photo opp's (sp?).
12. Some really old looking stuff like an old gas pump, an old Coke sign and rocks.

So, what lessons can be learned from all this?  I am sure there are other lessons, but the biggest lesson that I learned was that some stuff doesn't really need to have a lesson attached to it to be great, some things should just be enjoyed.

Books of March

It might be hard for me to get through these books since I would love to write a whole blog on each one. This month I read lots of books I wouldn't normally read as I am participating in some leadership courses. What a great stretch. For me, just looking at this list of books fires me up, how fun to learn all this great stuff and find ways to apply it!

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us - Daniel H. Pink

This book addresses a fundamental flaw in the way we motivate people. It suggests that external rewards and punishments are limited in their ability to make us more productive. In fact, in certain circumstances they do damage. People are not necessarily motivated the way we might think. What else motives? Autonomy - the feeling that I have freedoms. Mastery - the feeling that I am learning, growing, getting better and great at something. Significance - the feeling that I am doing something meaningful. These motivations only work if our basic needs are met. I found the best application of this book in finding out how to best motivate myself more effectively.

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything - Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and A Switzler

This book is absolutely amazing. One in a thousand. The only problem for me was that I found it overwhelming. Too much great stuff! Not a Christian book but the findings in this book about how to influence are thoroughly Biblical. If you want to study change and influencing change in a deep way, this is an awesome study. Christians ha a fundamental call to be salt and light, to be influencers.

The Land Between: Finding God in Difficult Transitions - Jeff Manion

This is a classic book that addresses a critical need for every Christian. How to make the mot of the dessert seasons of our lives. The concept of "The Land Between" being the place between God giving us the promise and God fulfilling the promise is powerful.

The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working: The Four Forgotten Needs That Energize Great Performance, - Tony Schwartz

I loved this. The concept is that we need to be energized and engaged as much as possible in life. In order to do this we need to ensure a rhythm between rest and engagement without overdoing or underdoing it. We also need to realize we are whole beings. We cannot ignore our physical rhythms, emotional rhythms, spiritual rhythms and mental rhythms. One of the things that really convicts me around this area is that the best gift I can give my family, workplace, church etc. is a healthy self. If I don't take care of myself in a way that I am thriving, I will be far less able to love and give in any of those environments.

Go Put Your Strengths to Work - Buckingham, Marcus

I think this book may change the course of my life in the next few months. I discovered things about myself by reading this book and doing the exercises that I did not know. Do you know what strengthens you? Do you know what weakens you? Did you know that you will make the best contributions in the areas that you are NOT only good at but ALSO that strengthen you!

What’s Your Career Type? - Dunning, Donna

This is a Myers-Briggs personality book that relates your personality to your career. This was my first time doing personality stuff of this sort. Very interesting and helpful. I think it would be best to do the Myers-Briggs with someone who knows a lot about it so that they can help you appreciate it. A book doesn't really do it justice, though this one is great.

Cure For The Common Life: Living In Your Sweet Spot? - Lucado, Max

Max Lucado is fun to read. He has a way with words that is absolutely wonderful. The really neat thing in this book for me was that Lucado ties our strengths to how we best can glorify God and how we can relate to our "common", everyday life. A book that gives hope and meaning to life when life seems dull and mundane.

 

Strengths Finder 2.0 - Rath, Tom
A very expensive and very fun self-discovery tool. This may be the best tool I have ever seen for finding out what you are good at. Rath and his colleagues have developed a whole new language for gifts. They discovered that we have tons of words for people's weaknesses, hang-ups and problems but not many for describing what we are good at. When you complete this tool you come out with 5 things you do well that is tremendously affirming. If you can find a friend to go through them with you and for you to hear theirs I think it would be ever better. The $35 is worth it! I wonder if this is really a spiritual gifts test with different terms.

Authentic Spiritual Mentoring - Larry Krieder
This book had awesome mentoring advice. The frame of reference was different than mine but the simple and straightforward instructions were very helpful. The kind of book that you could skim read and still get a ton out of it.

Question 3. What do you do to keep the fun and laughter in your marriage?

Question 3. What do you do to keep the fun and laughter in your marriage?

1. You look in the small places, the silly places, the margins of life for fun and laughter. Fun's best gift is when it comes unplanned. Be ready and any moment to turn a dreary, tired night into a funny, silly moment.
2. But don't try too hard. Trying hard to have fun is not as fun as just enjoying the fun we are having.
3. Although this seems like a contradiction, you also need to plan fun and intentionalize it. As with most valuable things, you don't feel like doing it until you are doing it, then it is a blast. So force yourself through the "I am not in the mood stage" and you will be glad you did.
4. What's fun for one person is different than what's fun for another. But even better yet, what two of you find fun most others wouldn't. Find those things that are fun uniquely to you. (To you as a couple, to your family....things others would raise their eyebrows and wonder what planet you are from.)
5. Enjoy small things.
6. Let the fun bringers in the family have free reign in bringing in the fun. And if you are a fun bringer, reign in your fun so that you are bringing it selflessly instead of selfishly. People will love or hate you depending on if you bring your fun for them or for yourself.

MOVIE NIGHT!!!!

Another event that will be lots of fun that we want to invite you to is a movie night at Victory. The free movie and popcorn will be shown at 6 pm on July 4 (this coming Sunday evening). Please bring as many people as you like. Children will be doing crafts and watching their own movies as "To Save a Life" is inappropriate for children. Nursery, pre-school, and childcare for ages 0-12 provided.
http://www.victorymj.com/

Double Your Fun

It's more fun to give than to receive. Double your fun and give it away.

It might sound trite, or superfluous...but try it...it's true.

Pure Pleasure

God made fun things fun. There is a right and wrong way to have fun with them. Not having fun with the fun things God made in the fun ways God made them to be enjoyed is bad. So for God's glory, have some fun.

Managing Desires

Why don't I do what I want to do? Mostly because I don't want to...well at least part of me doesn't want to. That's the problem, conflicting desires. I want to spend time with my kids and I want to sleep in. I want to eat healthier and I want some ice cream. I want to read my Bible and I want to see today's top news stories. I want to...okay you get it.


So...what to do?

1. Realize how much my desires influence me. Get away from activity long enough to think through which desires I need to increase.

2. Plan out how to feed those desires and increase them. Desire is like a fire, it grows with more fuel.

3. Resist the temptation to focus on the negatives. What we focus on we tend to move toward. Sometimes resisting a desire actually fuels it.

4. Enjoy the journey. Desires cannot be cultivated properly with a misery mindset. If you think managing your desire is about being miserable and denying your enjoyment of life etc. you will not get far. (ie. If you think eating healthy will make you miserable, no matter how hard you try, you will not eat healthy BUT if you believe eating healthy will actually enhance your joy and you really believe that, your desires will be on your side).

If You're Having Fun We're Having Fun

Okay, confession time. I watched a bit of a skating show last night. My wife was watching it, really, and I just wanted some quality time with her (Truth is...I was too lazy to read and decided to let my brain fry in front of the TV and the show wasn't that bad, either). Anyway, one of the judges spoke after a skating routine and said this, "You were having fun out there and if you're having fun, we're having fun."

That got me thinking. I think that's true almost anywhere. Apply it at home with your kids...if you're having a miserable time, chances are you're spreading your misery around. If you're having fun, your chances of lifting your kids' day are higher. Apply it at work; if you're having fun, your co-workers and customers are more likely to be having fun too.

Now I want to meddle a bit. What about church? Maybe our friends don't come to church with us because we are so miserable there! What if we were having so much fun at church, we wouldn't miss it for the world? (literally...don't miss church for the world!)

What if the musicians were having fun, the greeters, the children's workers, the sound man, the media lady, the preacher (whoa...the preacher having fun?)? I think if we all enjoyed ourselves a bit more, we might be more attractive.

Now before you throw stones at me for promoting fun in church, I think a short perusal through the Bible would show that it's not only good PR (public relations), but it's also God-honouring.

A great case study on this from a business perspective is an airline called "Southwest Airlines". If you have ever ridden on one of these planes, you will recount the FUN experience with everyone you know. So, whatever you happen to be up to today...try to have some fun while you are at it. You will not only enjoy it more...you will actually be adding value to the thing you are doing.