Just Relax

I rarely have everything done. There is far more to do in my world that I accomplish. More projects, more ideas, more important time to be spent with people, more fixing and cleaning, more appointments...you get the picture. Since it doesn't seem likely that I will ever get it all done (is that really what I am aiming for anyway?) so I better settle myself with that. Stressing, obsessing, and hurrying seem to be counterproductive activities. When I pray about my burdens I often hear words like these. "I have given you all the time and energy you need to do what I have called you to do. I have never asked for more of you than your best in My strength. Rest in me. Just relax and do what I have called you to do."

Inner versus Outer Stress

Stress is one of the most common words of our modern culture. This really is nothing new. 50 years ago people experienced stress too. They experience stress in Africa and Asia, not just in Canada. Why then do we tend to feel so stressed out so much?

Part of the problem in Canada lies in the fact that we live so much of our lives in our heads. We live in a knowledge-based world. E-mail, media, phone calls, text messages, and much, much more.

Actually stress is a good thing. We would be demotivated and bored without it. I recently read a book called "Just Enough Anxiety" where the authors proposed that for maximum effectiveness in our business we need an optimum amount of stress (enough to keep us going, not so much that we are overwhelmed.)

Lately in my own life, I have been differentiating between inner and outer stress. When I experience stress in the circumstances of my life, I see that as generally positive (or at least somewhat out of my control). When I experience stress within...well, that is a problem. Inner stress seems to me to be more about worry, anxiety and a lack of trusting God. The Bible speaks often about rest as a good thing. I think there is an inner rest we can experience even though we are busy on the outside. In fact, I think the word 'busy' illustrates this well. When I am busy on the outside that is one thing...but when I am busy within, that is a different matter entirely. Have you ever been in a hurry when you really had nothing to be in a hurry for (while driving perhaps)? That is because we are busy within.

Jesus seemed to be very, very busy without, but never busy within. He seemed to work on the outside and rest on the inside. He seemed to be always engaged in important work but never in a hurry. If there is one word that I think described Jesus' inner disposition it would be "TRUST".

Worrying About Worrying

I have been doing a lot of worrying about worrying lately. I am worried about leaders. I am worried about mothers. I am worried about workers. I am worried about good people who want to do good things.

I am worried because most good people I know are over-stressed. This is not good for their health, not good for their souls and not good for their personal effectiveness in life. The thing that concerns me is that the very good that they do is stressing them out so much that they are unable to do as much good as they would like.

I not only want to do good, I want to do MORE good. I can't stand seeing all the good that needs to be done without committing my energies to doing it.

But what is the alternative? Doing nothing? Unthinkable! That is even more destructive to our souls and our health. Catch 22.

Here is what I have been thinking lately. What if I could do more but worry less? What if I could engage wholeheartedly and passionately in my family, my work, my community, etc., but remain at peace within? What if we could have tons of activity on the outside and deep peace and calm on the inside? Maybe the problem is not external activity but internal frenzy. Maybe the problem is not that we are striving too hard on the outside but that we are worrying, stressing and anxious on the inside.

What if we could work hard for God but rest in God?
What if we could engage fully in life's activities but leave the results to the One who asks us to give our very best in serving Him but then calls us to cast our cares on Him?
What if we learned to rest within and work without?

Taking Care

Building into our lives rhythms of self-care is not only smart, it is also godly. One of the first ideas introduced in the Bible is that of work and rest. We need to give intentional energy to becoming good at both of them. Either one (work or rest) neglected in our lives will result in personal disaster and will cause us to be less helpful and more harmful to others. I am concerned that our society in general tends to engage in activities that do not replenish us in our "down time" ("down time" is time when we are not working). Many times when we are exhausted from work we engage in 'escapist' activates such as TV, internet, addictions, etc. that provide us relief from our exhaustion but do not replenish us. This causes us to live empty and tired lives and hinders our ability to be effective workers.

Why is it that people are so tired, burnt out, stressed out, pressured and anxious? Maybe it has less to do with being over-worked and more to do with being under-rested.

What To Do When You Are Overtired

Here is the problem. When a person is overtired, they lack better judgment that keeps them from getting overtired in the first place (you may want to read that a few times...smile).


Here are 5 ways to get rest when you need it.

1. Ask someone to hold you accountable to resting. (To getting to bed by a certain time or to taking an afternoon off or to go golfing, etc.)

2. Decide what won't get done. Rather than beating yourself up and stressing yourself out trying to do everything and then disappointing yourself when you prove that you can't, choose ahead of time some things to leave undone.

3. Remember that when you are overtired, you tend to make worse decisions. Sometimes you can make decisions that exacerbate the problem instead of fixing it. ie: Don't watch TV until 11 pm when you are already overtired.

4. Make a finish line. Do what needs to be done, then when it is finished, have a plan for some time off. One of the mistakes I have made is to run like mad in a busy season, working my weekends and days off and then head straight back to work (normal life). Going into the next week at a normal pace after an extremely busy week leaves a person sapped of energy. Better to plan a day off after a busy time.

5. Listen to your attitudes and physical signals and try to catch it before it gets too bad. A bad attitude is often a sign of tiredness. If you catch yourself having a bad attitude or physical signs of tiredness, get some rest before it gets worse. If you can catch tiredness before it becomes exhaustion, you can save yourself a lot of pain.

Oxygen

Yesterday's sermon was on the third ingredient for keeping God's fire in our soul alive and well. Oxygen. Here are some of the thoughts we went through as we discussed how to make space in our lives for God to speak, to guide, to fill, and to refresh us.

Most of us live life at a pace our souls can’t keep up with.
“The only problem with success is that the formula for achieving it is the same as the formula for a nervous breakdown.” Charles Swindoll

“The pace of the modern world accentuates our sense of being fractured and fragmented. We feel strained, hurried, breathless. The complexity of rushing to achieve and accumulate more and more frequently threatens to overwhelm us; it seems that there is no escape from the rat race.” Richard Foster

What does this do to our souls? Leaves us discouraged, tired, exhausted, worn out, burnt out (like a lamp), lost, confused, dazed, on edge, rushed, stressed…you can’t keep a fire alive in that! It’s suffocating our spiritual fires.

“God never guides us into an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness…We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power. If only we could slip over into that Center!” – Thomas Kelly

So what’s the answer? Jesus guides us into a very different way of life that allows room for our souls to breathe.

Mat 11:28-30 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

What we need is to simplify our lives so that we can simply live.

“The truth is, as much as we complain about it. We are drawn to hurry. It makes us feel important. It keeps the adrenaline pumping. It means we don’t have to look too closely at the heart or life. It keeps us from feeling our loneliness.” – Ortberg


Jesus was extremely focused, had a mission, tons of work to do and yet was calm, had space for His soul to be refreshed and alive, how?

Luke 5:16 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

“It is the space between the notes that makes the music.” Noah Benshea

Psalm 119:114 You're my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me."

Psalm 23 in a busy world:

The clock is my dictator; I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to depression.
It hounds my soul.

It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity's sake
Even though I run frantically from task to task
I will never get it all done, for my "ideal" is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand my performance from me
beyond the limits of my schedule.

They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.

Our lives are like most people's garages. They were made for cars, but end up too filled with stuff to fit the cars in anymore. We were made for people, for relationships, and most of all for God…but our lives get so full of stuff we have no room for what we were made for anymore. We have overcrowded souls.


We need solitude with God so that we have space to listen, space to plan, space to play, and space to rest.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16

To be God or not to be God

It's okay that I am not God. It's okay not to have everything figured out. It's okay to be left with questions that I don't have all the answers to. It's okay that I am not God.

Psalm 131:1-2 "My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."

My advice? Find joy in being God's child. Don't try to be His advisor. Find rest, my soul, in Christ alone. We all long to have the simple childlike trust that Psalm 131 calls for. Try it out, lean back on Him...you'll like it!