RELATIONSHIP IS A TWO WAY STREET. WHEN ONE PERSON IS TRYING TO BUILD AND THE OTHER IS RUDE AND PURPOSELY DIGGING WITH CRUDE REMARKS. As for the woman, they are supposed to submit. What is your response?
This question raises several issues at once. Not sure how to tackle it all but let's just start in.
1. When one person is trying and the other is not, we really need to just focus on our own part. We can clearly communicate our needs and desires to our spouse but if we manipulate them into it we will only drive things further apart. Remember, the goal is a great marriage, not to fix or change your spouse. Find small things to work on, work on those. Work on daily improvements, it won't all fix overnight. Give your spouse a sense of accomplishment. Encourage them when they do things right. Many spouses don't try because they don't think it will make any difference and they don't think they are capable of anything else.
2. Submission is a very sensitive topic. I think it is so misunderstood in our day that even using the word messes people up. The best treatment of this subject I have seen is a book called, "Love and Respect". It is a tough read but is sooooo important. It grieves me that we so often get submission wrong in marriage. That is is used as a tool of destruction instead of a tool of love. Suffice it to say, if you figure this area out, you will be soooo glad you did, if you get this area wrong... it will be very painful. There is so much misinformation out there on this subject that you need to be careful where and how you learn it. I would start with the book, "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. http://www.loveandrespect.com/
This question raises several issues at once. Not sure how to tackle it all but let's just start in.
1. When one person is trying and the other is not, we really need to just focus on our own part. We can clearly communicate our needs and desires to our spouse but if we manipulate them into it we will only drive things further apart. Remember, the goal is a great marriage, not to fix or change your spouse. Find small things to work on, work on those. Work on daily improvements, it won't all fix overnight. Give your spouse a sense of accomplishment. Encourage them when they do things right. Many spouses don't try because they don't think it will make any difference and they don't think they are capable of anything else.
2. Submission is a very sensitive topic. I think it is so misunderstood in our day that even using the word messes people up. The best treatment of this subject I have seen is a book called, "Love and Respect". It is a tough read but is sooooo important. It grieves me that we so often get submission wrong in marriage. That is is used as a tool of destruction instead of a tool of love. Suffice it to say, if you figure this area out, you will be soooo glad you did, if you get this area wrong... it will be very painful. There is so much misinformation out there on this subject that you need to be careful where and how you learn it. I would start with the book, "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. http://www.loveandrespect.com/
